Thursday, June 5, 2014

you're fired!

I've been thinking about firing my inner critic.  You know... the one who pipes in while I am innocently getting ready for the day by making rude comments about me.  To my knowledge, this critic has been there my whole life.  Some say it's name is Self Esteem.  Others might say self regard or self respect.  Most people that I know have this inner voice that says "well you look decent but those wrinkles are showing up more every day" or "what made you say that... that was a stupid thing to say" and "you are not seriously considering putting a bathing suit on are you?"  And sometimes you dwell on these silly things, or I do at least, and let them get me down and worry.  It is not a healthy self worth cycle to be on.  That's why I am firing my inner critic.  Not listening anymore.  I'm done.


As a matter of fact, this type thing came into play yesterday during my yoga class.  My wonderful instructor, Tracy, gives words of wisdom and thoughts to carry with us until our next session each class.  After our hour long practice, when we were all relaxed, with hearts open and hands centered, she said " I want you to thank your body for three things... three things about your body that you are thankful for".  My first one was my skin, which is a hard thing for me to be thankful for because of the way it looks and feels with my issues.  It actually made me tear up in a way I could hardly control.  I've never "thanked" my body for anything that I can recall.  I felt like my inner critic should be hollering "BUT WHAT ABOUT... BUT THIS... BUT THAT", but my critic was silent during this time and I simply expressed my great-fullness silently.  It felt good to appreciate myself and was as easy as saying "thank you".

This is a practice that I intend to carry with me, being thankful to my body for who and what it is, what is is capable of and does for me every day.  Hush up inner critic!   Nobody wants to hear your trashy bashing of my body and mind any more!

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